Today’s my day off. I wanted to sleep late, but for some reason I woke up before it got light outside. I peered at the clock. 6:10 a.m. Too early. I closed my eyes, snuggled up, and decided to wait for the sun to come shining through the window.
That never happened of course. I mean, the sun eventually showed up, but by that time I had been up for an hour. The older I get, the harder time I have getting back to sleep once I’ve awakened. My brain just starts racing.
When medical practitioners assess patients, they sometimes dictate, “The patient has flight of ideas.” One definition of this is “streams of unrelated words and ideas occur to the patient at a rate that is impossible to vocalize despite a marked increase in the individual's overall output of words.” This is what happens to me, not verbally, but in my head. I have so many things I want to do, a limited amount of time, so many ideas, a limited amount of energy, so many quilts I want to make, a limited amount of money, etc. Sometimes I just can’t wait on the sun.
I was asked to write a few paragraphs about my professional highlight for 2007 for a Medical Records industry magazine called Advance. These days, when I have to write something, including this blog, I always extract every essence of what it has to teach me, and this assignment was no exception. The highlight, of course, was passing my CMT exam. As I typed out the details of the long year’s journey toward actually taking the test, the procrastination and excuses, I suddenly realized that passing that test was more momentous for me than it first appeared. Something I did initially only for my professional career expanded to touch every part of my life, a highly unexpected outcome! Because I passed this test, I became acutely aware that I can achieve much more than I think I’m capable of. I have been allowing financial or time constraints to restrict me in ways I don’t even think about. I, the one who has always joked about being a procrastinator and “unfinisher,” was able to set my mind and energy to doing something - and I actually did it! The question that inevitably follows is, “Hmm...what else do I think I can’t do but I really can?”
That’s really my only New Year’s resolution - to push myself, believe in myself, act as if there is nothing to prevent me from creating, quilting, cross-stitching, reading, playing the harp, writing, making gifts - even exercising - and that I possess right now the ability, time, money, and energy to accomplish all I desire. If I can keep that wonderful mindset, this year will certainly be a productive and satisfying one. I need to take my flight of ideas, put them all one one plane, make an amazing flight plan, and just take off.
I think it is true that more limits are placed on us by ourselves than are ever placed on us by the outside world. I was looking at a catalog yesterday from a store that sells distressed-looking country signs. One said simply, “What Are You Waiting For?”
What indeed? It’s a “Blank Slate for 2008.” I’m ready to fill it!