Katie's childhood footprint, damp from the river's edge.
Life is a lot like that footprint, here for just a moment before it dries up or washes away.
I received news that a friend passed in the night. Hale, hearty--but suddenly a massive heart attack and now he is no more. He has been reduced to a pile of ashes stored in a wooden box.
I had not talked to Tom in ages but I thought of him fondly. He was one of those guys you just knew you could count on for anything, and I took care to never abuse that privilege. He was one of those stalwart friends that you just think will be around forever, and now he's gone.
Just. Like. That.
Amazing.
As I was dressing for the quiet memorial tonight I looked at all of my favorite dress clothes, their turned-around hangers indicating that they haven't been worn since I reduced my closet and reversed all the hangers early this spring.
I don't wear them much despite their beauty, because I'm afraid I will damage them, and because I don't go very many places to "dress up."
I wonder how many clothes he had in his closet, waiting for the right day and time to wear them?
Behold my father's only suit. This photograph was taken in September of 1968, when he dressed up just so they could photograph their latest luxury, the telephone.
Dad looked great in that suit, but wore it only for funerals and visits to the courthouse. It had been hanging in the closet for years when Mom removed it on the day that he died. He was buried in that suit in 1988, twenty years after that photo was taken.
Will my favorite clothes end up like that suit--saved for the day that I die because I was afraid to wear them now?
Children don't have this "save it" mentality.
Katie will wear her favorite dresses until they fall into rags at her feet.
I picked my very favorite skirt and paired it with one of my favorite tops today. Tomorrow I think I shall wear another--just because.
I don't want to end up like my father with clothes in his closet he never wore because the time never came or he was afraid to get them dirty. I want to be like a child and seize the day as it comes. So what if they fall into rags or get stained? I will have at least gotten some enjoyment out of them!
So here I am, walking on the river's edge as the sun set this evening in Paducah. Shoes in hand just watching the river run. I caught a few people staring at me walking along the riverfront in high heels tonight with my daughter, and I just smiled at them.
True, tonight I was dressed up for Tom's memorial but instead of going straight home to change into something more "appropriate" I went just as I was.
Life is too much like Katie's footprint--it fades so quickly! I've missed so much time, so many years waiting to use this or do this. One day it will be my turn to become a pile of ashes and when it does I want it to be with the full knowledge that I enjoyed my life and everything in it.
I want to use what I have and have what I use, NOT save it for a rainy day. As Tom's sudden passing has shown me--we never really know what the future will bring.