I started a course on Barnes & Noble University's website today. It's about Simple Living, and in the course description, the instructor recommends keeping a journal. So I guess I'm on the right track since I already started one ;)
Anyway, there will be questions and things to ponder during the course, so I will list them here and share my thoughts.
From Lesson 2:
What is the most important thing in your life? 1. Creating balance & peace in my life. That sounds like a pageant contestant, huh? 2. Raising my children against the grain of mainstream society. That might sound "wierd" to most, but I have very strong feelings about how our society thinks and functions, and it's way off track (in my opinion, of course). I want my children to feel an inner peace that does not come from material items. I don't want them to do as I have done- reach 33 years old and wonder what they have done with their lives and where all their time and money has gone.
What do you need to do to nurture your own awareness and personal growth? I need to stop procrastinating. I need to start "doing" instead of just "thinking".
What is the most recent item you purchased on "auto pilot"? How did you feel a few days after you bought the item? I can't remember. I have been consciously not purchasing things I don't need for several months now. I can pick something big from the past, though. A car. I had this huge impulse to get a "new" car. I had a job with insane driving miles, and one day I got it in my head that I "needed" a car with better gas mileage. I spent HOURS at the car lot getting the loan and all that crap. They haggled and stalled so long that I spent more than I should have just to get the Hell out of there. So, right away, I knew it was a bad deal. But I was so tired with being there so long after a long day's work already that I stayed and agreed to whatever. When I got home, I KNEW I'd made a mistake- higher payment, too long of a loan. I felt dirty and ashamed. I felt like an idiot.
How do you feel when you want things? Like a drug addict. I can't stop thinking about them until I get them at any means necessary. This is what I have been working on the past few months. I tore up all credit cards and started trying to pay them off. The debt was so bad, though, that to pay all the cards and keep my credit good, I had to charge more for the necessities (groceries). I made the decision to file bankruptcy and start over on my financial life. At that point, you can't use credit, so it actually helped me get rid of my spending addiction- if I wanted it, tough shit, there was no possible way to get it, so I've learned how to control that urge and do without. I've also been rudely awakened to what I need and what I want. I'm really proud to say today that I have gained this new awakening and am "on the road to recovery".
How would your life be different if you were fully aware of the path you have chosen? I hope that from here on out, I will be on the path I have chosen, so ask me again in 10 years.