"As in all the congregations of the saints, women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church."
(1 Corinthians 14:33-35 NIV)
When I was a young woman - in my twenties and thirties, I struggled over these words of St Paul. They seemed unjust and outrageous, hard to swallow.
Scholars of the Bible with a balanced and moderate approach explained that this text didn't mean women could not do a reading or preach a sermon or give a testimony or lead worship; it meant they were to respect the sacred hour and not sit chatting to their neighbours in the gathering during the time of worship.
That made sense to me. I had been to enough school assemblies in support of my children to have seen (and be shocked by) parents, mainly mothers, chattering loudly while young schoolchildren showed them a better example and sat quietly.
Even a week ago at worship, I found myself doing the same. I sat with a friend with whom I need to fix a date to meet, but in front of me sat a lady I needed also to speak with, who I knew would depart quickly at close of worship, as she relies on a lift home from others
So during the time that the people were receiving the sacrament, and then during the singing of the post-Communion hymn, I fixed up with my friend a time to meet during the week, so I would be free at close of worship to speak with the other lady.
'This is exactly the kind of thing St Paul was talking about,' I thought, even as I went ahead and did it. Mea culpa!
A few years ago I first heard the call in my heart to Plain dress at the same time as I was sorting out what to do about my ordained status as a minister. As I've said before often here, I had all sorts of reasons why I felt it inappropriate for me to continue as a minister, so I withdrew from that and went to Quaker meeting while I was living in Aylesbury (I know I'm going over old ground here, but you know how it is with blog posts - there's always someone turns up who hasn't read what you wrote before and wonders what you're talking about if you don't lay the ground again).
A peripheral rif running for me at that time was a sense of relief about this text from the writings of St Paul. I did not come out of ordained ministry because of it; but coming out of ordained ministry did mean my choices no longer ran in diametric opposition to it. I no longer had a public role in worship, but could sit quietly, just as the Bible said. I love the Bible. It feels good when my life comes to heel beside the principles it shows us to live by.
At that time of re-thinking, I was dressing Plain, and then as now my attire was speaking to me, ministering peace to my heart. When I first put on that garb, I felt as though I was entering something that fitted me exacly: I remember writing to Daina at The Kings Daughters and telling her these were the dresses I had been waiting for all my life. I didn't understand at the time about the cost of dressing Plain, that it rouses turbulent forces and brings conflict as well as peace; I hadn't grasped the extent to which it is a sign of contradiction and I hadn't comprehended how far-flung is the reign of Mammon. So when the kick-back came I was not prepared, and I withdrew from the practice of Plain dress, with sharp sorrow, feeling that I was being unreasonable and eccentric in choosing it. When I left it, its influence left me too. The discipling and admonishing and guiding it brings, stopped. I don't understand this. How can one's clothes speak? I am just telling you what I have experienced.
I tried all manner of ways to dress that I thought might be 'plain enough'; and they weren't. So I came back to it; and now once again my clothes speak to me.
Once more this text about women in church has returned to the forefront of my mind. I have spoken to the good wardens at Penhurst where I lead retreats, and said that from now retreats I lead should be women-only; and they are comfortable with that.
Reviewing my life, I see that all the times of ugly conflict that have arisen for me have been with authority figures, mainly (but not exclusively) men - and among men, mainly ordained churchmen. This conflict brings no good. It has a toxic harvest. It's like sowing Deadly Nightshade instead of potatoes. There is a way I have been walking that is not submissive, not humble, that lacks the Valley Spirit and has forgotten to be like water seeking the lowliest place, finding its way round the blocks on its journey down to the Sea with no fight, no blame, wearing away the opposition.
The Quiet Way is not compliant with the reign of Mammon, but it has so army or arsenal; it is a resistance movement. St Francis spoke of there being two ways to resist temptation. He said you could either rise up and fight it and overcome it, or you could become so humble and little that you could slip through underneath it. Going under the radar of the reign of Mammon. You didn't have to be strong or resolute to do that; you needed only to be lowly. That appeals to me.
And today, as I was turning this scripture over in my mind again, it came to me for the first time that in this text, if they want it, women have been offered something exceptionally precious and beautiful.
Silence is where we meet with God. Silence is the place in which God speaks. Silence is the context of the most powerful and intense communications. Silence is healing and beautiful. Silence allows truth to emerge in naked form. Silence is the companionable comfortable milieu of old friends who know each other so well that words have become unnecessary. Words must always be partial, but silence is complete.
Yesterday, as I was talking with Grace about the development of her child, my grandson, she said that she had thought when he was born he would be completely himself; but that now she feels he is becoming more himself, stepping more fully into who he really is, as he develops and grows. As we tossed this idea back and forth, she ventured the thought that when a child is born, like the Zen concept of the uncarved block, his potential is complete but not actualised. As he develops, makes choices, is shaped by influences, on the one hand his potential can unfurl and be realised but, on the other hand, in pursuing this he leaves behind that, in taking this road he will never explore the other - so as he realises his potential in one aspect he also stunts it in another. He becomes this but not that, and the more choices he makes the deeper but the narrower the channel of his being is cut.
And so it is with words. As soon as we say this, that remains unsaid; as we develop this, that remains unexplored. Only when nothing is said is everything said. Silence alone is replete.
And I realised that in giving to women the gift of silence, the Bible has not, as I first thought, given them nothing (in this community of the Word) but given them everything.
'Look,' my clothes are saying to me: 'look what God has given you!'
Silence has become a present to unwrap, a valuable jewel I thought I could never own, something that costs too much and would belong only ever to other people (like Ogion the Silent in Ursula le Guin's Wizard of Earthsea series).
It is very exciting.
Where I used to see this commandment to silence as a tool of oppression of women by men, an unenlightened condemnation to second-class citizenship, I now have no opinion about that because it doesn't matter to me. Being a second-class citizen will not interfere with seeking the lowliest place, which is the bench where Jesus is sitting. As for being oppressed - I see no mandate for accepting unjust treatment towards women, treating them roughly or making slaves of them or acting against their interests: I see only that the best path of all, the beautiful way, the Quiet Way, the way of silence has been given to women. The dead-ends and non-sequiturs, the half-truths and overstatements, the best-left-unsaid and the open-mouth-and-insert-foot and the whole minefield that comes within the territory of words, have been left to the men to contend with, God bless them.
Here is the scripture again, this time in The Jerusalem Bible, and then a slightly longer passage from The Message:
"As in all the churches of the saints, women are to remain quiet at meetings since they have no permission to speak; they must keep in the background as the Law itself lays it down. If they have any questions to ask, they should ask their husbands at hoime: it does not seem right for a woman to raise her voice at meetings."
(1 Corinthian 14:33-35 The Jerusalem Bible)
"Wives must not disrupt worship, talking when they should be listening, asking questions that could more appropriately be asked of their husbands at home. God's Book of the law guides our manners and customs here. Wives have no license to use the time of worship for unwarranted speaking. Do you—both women and men—imagine that you're a sacred oracle determining what's right and wrong? Do you think everything revolves around you? If any one of you thinks God has something for you to say or has inspired you to do something, pay close attention to what I have written. This is the way the Master wants it. If you won't play by these rules, God can't use you. Sorry."
(1 Corinthians 14:33-38 The Message)