from the middle of things
don’t be afraid
right out of the middle of things to walk away.
Stuff accumulates stress accumulates stuff.
Shove it. Blow it. Leave it. Laugh at it.
It doesn’t really matter very much.
Whatever it is (that accumulating stuff accumulating stress)
Bills . . . possessions . . . fat . . . ailments . . . hassle . . . appointments . . . glory . . . status . . . money . . . worries (funny that, how ‘money’ and ‘worries’ go together) . . .
. . . well, all of that – it isn’t what you came here for.
What you came here for – excuse me – let me not presume – what I came here for at least, was to walk in freedom.
I came here to taste being human one more time. Stand beside the ocean. Walk in the gold of falling leaves. Love the dark trees spiky in the soft fog. Feel the warmth of the sun and the fireside. Whatever else, I came here to see the stars. And I think I came here to pray, and discover something about how to love, and the choices that allow peace to come through.
Sometimes it seems necessary to be what feels distinctly irresponsible. Sometimes I end up feeling deeply apologetic. Because sometimes the only way to stop the clinging accumulation of stuff and stress is to drop it or walk off and leave it.
How dare you? A voice says.
How dare I not? Life is short.
What I mean is, who cares if they paint the room white or cream, or use the duvet cover for a dust sheet? Is it irresponsible to walk away from these decisions? Yes, I guess. But they don’t hold my attention. My mind wanders away. It’s difficult even to remember that it’s Monday.
What I do remember, though, is that my dear friend has come through her surgery OK, and she is feeling better now, and this afternoon is a chance to go and see her, drink tea with her, and enjoy being the happiest people in the world.