One of the most precious gifts of being a child (in my eyes) is that they have not learned humility or embarrassment. Children of a certain age are who they are and make no apology for who they are. Since having one of these children in my home, it has been amazing for me to witness this. It has made me question many things that I am "embarrassed" about or feel I should be humble about. I don't always know where these qualities I have come from, but one of the best things about being a adult is that I can identify these qualities I don't like about myself, and actively stride to change them.
One of the qualities I don't care for is humility. Humility has a time and place but I really respect people who can discuss their successes in a informative, and non bragging way. Why is it that I have a hard time for taking credit for things I do well? If I have a big success at work, why do I feel shamed or embarrassed to share that? Why cannot express myself in a confident manner to be prideful but not arrogant? Successful but not bragful? This is some self searching I must do, but that is for a journal not a post. I pose these questions so that you can walk through this post with me, and learn how much I am growing from even acknowledging these feelings let alone posting them.
I am proud of myself! I have very good ideas and when given some mental and emotional space, very creative! I have really turned this maternity leave into a work leave, and have been focusing on the problem areas of my home. I feel like a rat in the wheel a lot of the time, and I fear it will be no different when I return to work. I am also trying to work on being present in my life. When I am working 40 hours a week, crazy shifts, and sleeping at odd intervals, I want to make the most of the time I have with my family. So with this in mind I have turned my house upside down going through every nook and cranny and looking at every square inch with the objective questions...
- Does this space work for me?
- Does it make my life easier?
- What do I want this space to be?
- How can I help it realize its potential?
- How can this space make my life easier, so I can be present when I am home and not distracted?
The result of these questions, and some inspiration from Pinterest, I have totally remade a few areas of my home. My kitchen received a reorganization (we are still looking for where we moved the dish towels to). the basement got some good attention. My laundry/pantry/mudd room is something I will be presenting in a future post (The Hardest Working 50 feet in Our House). I have worked so hard to make this space exactly what I and my family need it to be, and I am so damn proud of the way it is turning out. Pinterest has gotten my creative and frugal juices flowing and the projects that are coming out puts a huge smile on my face. So hopefully, in the next couple of days, my big reveal for a project that is 3 weeks, or 4.5 years, however you look at it, in the making, public for all to see.
And damnit, I am proud of me!